Fear is expected of girls and the conditioning to create that reality begins early. Studies have shown that moms and dads encourage their sons to face fear head on while cautioning their daughters to avoid the risk. Parents do it without even realizing it in most scenarios. They will stop their daughter before she swings too high and decides to jump off the swing set, but if their son is performing the exact same behavior they will let it happen while thinking or saying "boys will be boys." If young girls don't try do to things they're afraid of they will struggle to get comfortable working outside of their comfort zone as women. This unintentional conditioning teaches girls to be risk averse which increases their fear of failure. According to a study in The Journal of Pediatric Psychology last year, parents are four times more likely to tell girls than boys to be careful after mishaps that are not life-threatening but do entail a trip to the emergency room. While this seems like a reasonable warning, there is a drawback, and the researchers remarked on it: "Girls may be less likely than boys to try challenging physical activities, which are important for developing new skills." This study points to an uncomfortable truth: We think our daughters are more fragile, both physically and emotionally, than our sons. Fear becomes a go-to feminine trait, something girls are expected to feel and express at will. When girls become women, this fear manifests as deference and timid decision making. (Caroline Paul) Bravery is a learned behavior and one that needs to be encouraged at a young age for both boys and girls. Both genders need to take risks and learn that failure is okay because the important aspect of failure is how they choose to respond to it. It's better to try and fail than to have never tried at all and then tell yourself to try again. "Bravery is an emotion that's unfamiliar for most girls. It's considered the purview of boys and men", says Paul. "No one questions a mother's courage to protect her kids, but it's so odd that we don't attribute bravery to women otherwise. At a young age, if girls learn to value bravery like boys do, they're going to be so good at it." (Katie Arnold) This topic is important within athletics because so much of what girls learn from their parents at a young age carries over into how they perform and function as adults. I want a team full of women who are willing to take risks, be brave, and not let the fear of failure stop them from accomplishing their goals. But due to gender norms within the United States that's not always going to be realistic right away. While bravery can be learned in college it's harder to rewrite years of unconscious beliefs that started in childhood. So I hope as research brings awareness to this topic more and more parents are mindful of not stopping their daughters from taking risks and only encouraging their sons. I think this simple shift in mindset could make a big difference in developing more confident and competitive women in sport. References Why Do We Teach Girls That's It's Cute To Be Scared? By: Caroline Paul 10 Ways to Raise Brave Girls By: Katie Arnold The Gutsy Girl: Escapades for Your Life of Epic Adventure By: Caroline Paul
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Ashley BothamCoaching. Running. Racing. Sport Psychology. Women in Coaching. Archives
June 2017
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